Quotes by Liza

All the people who eat cheese get breast cancer.

My mom

(via espeon727)

I CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE PROMOTING ALL THE SEXES
Liza when she thought I was taking birth control
Your secret admirer wants you to be famous ;) theIastmedia com
Anonymous

secret admirer huh

espeon727:

just walked through the kitchen as mom was putting some food away and all i heard was her muttering “pork chop world…” really dramatically

me: eats sausage for dinner
mom: eat some veggies
mom: life is not just about sausages

davestriderspelvis reblogged quotesbyliza

#AMY I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A BLOG OF YOUR MOM’S QUOTES OH MY GOD

LOL YEP I DO

I HAVE SO MANY QUOTES FROM HER I HAD TO MAKE A WHOLE BLOG FOR IT

AND THIS REALLY ISN’T ALL OF THEM

SHE SAYS SO MUCH STUFF THAT I OFTEN TO FORGET TO POST THEM

I JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH THIS WOMAN I SIMPLY DONT UNDERSTAND

Liza: Amy, I'm TIRED of you not cleaning up the kitchen!
Liza: Why don't you clean up the messes I left you?!
Me:
Me: am I allowed to tell you what was so wrong with that sentence or
my mom: There's rice and white fish in the kitchen. You can eat the vegetable leftover from last night and make yourself a nice plate.
me: Why are you getting dressed? Are you going somewhere?
my mom: Yeah I'm going out for lunch; Dim Sum!
me:
me: WOW HOW CONSIDERATE OF YOU TO LEAVE ME LEFTOVERS FOR LUNCH WHILE YOU GO AND EAT FANCY CAVIAR COVERED WONTONS
espeon727:

Mom, how did you pull this off?!

espeon727:

Mom, how did you pull this off?!

espeon727:

It’s always funny to shop with mom #shorty

espeon727:

It’s always funny to shop with mom #shorty

espeon727:

my mom forgot how to say “cooler” so she said “put some ice in the freezer chest”

espeon727:

Mom is in “meatball mode”

espeon727:

Mom is in “meatball mode”

espeon727:

Mom: I’m in meatball mode!

espeon727:

Mom: I’m in meatball mode!

espeon727:

Ok mom, calm down.
Me: I applied to <————> college. Are you happy now?
Liza: *half asleep* yes, congratulations on getting accepted…
Me: ? No mom I only just applied. No one has been accepted yet.
Liza: hnn? Bwuh? *finally wakes up to reality* …oh.

Fwahahaha I think I just played a part in some weird twisted dream of hers XD

espeon727:

so my mom can’t spell “carrot” (at Noodle Chu Dim Sum Seafood House)

espeon727:

so my mom can’t spell “carrot” (at Noodle Chu Dim Sum Seafood House)